Stupid Stuff Clients Ask Us To Do

Note that I said "stupid stuff".  There are no stupid clients; they only ask us to do stupid stuff at times. Well, pretty frequently actually.


Don't get me wrong, we love our clients. They help us put fuel in our trucks. But it does surprise me some of the things that people ask us to do...people that I would normally think were way smarter than me, a graduate of the local community college and now repo guy.


So here's some of the stupid things clients ask us to do:


1. Can You Follow the Debtor in Traffic?  Dude, you've been watch too many old Miami VIce reruns. It would requested for situations where the car is in a parking garage or gated community, and the client wants us to park at the entrance and then follow the debtor's vehicle through traffic and repo it while the guy is in Starbucks getting his Caramel Macchiato.  Have you ever tried to keep on someone's rear bumper through traffic, even driving  a normal car? Its crazy dangerous.  Try it in a tow truck.  And, by the way,  don't you think the debtor is going to see a stealthy black Ford F450 Superduty with a tow lift, belching diesel exhaust in his rearview mirror?  ("Hmm...wonder what THAT guy is up to?"). Oh, and no one is willing to pay for the extra hours to even try this.  Bad idea.

2.) Can You Pay A Neighbor To Snitch on The Debtor?  Okay, check it out.  We're in the debtor's driveway with our tow truck, and debtor isn't home. We stroll over to Joe, the nosey next-door neighbor. "Hey, we'll pay you $50 to call us when the car...er...the debtor shows up".  Joe looks at us, looks at the tow truck, looks at us again. We're obviously the repo guy, effectively violating the customer's right to privacy. We might as well have erected a billboard in the debtor's yard:  "Repo Man Missed You...We'll Be Back!". Next thing you know we'll be federal court defending ourselves against any number of laws that guard the debtor's right to privacy regarding debt.


3.) We have GPS on The Debtor's Vehicle. Will You Work Cheaper? Listen, last time I heard, these were the rules of the repo game: Mr Client, you give me the best possible address you can give me, and I'll do my darnedest to get your car. Your side of the deal is to tell me what you know to begin with...it's your car you want back, right? Also, the car having GPS doesn't turn bullets into marshmallows...its still a repo deal, with the possible hassles and dangers associated with that.

4.) Debtor Has Two (or more) Cars That Need To Be Repossessed. Can I Get a Deal?  I shop at Publix, which is a gorcery chain here in the Southeast. I love Publix. They even will carry your groceries to the car if you want them to. But the coolest thing about Publix is their "Buy One, Get One" deals they have every week. Deodorant, almonds, paper plates....you can get all these kinds of Buy One, Get One deals. Makes me feel like I am making money just walking in the door of the place. But the problem is, those things are commodities. Its not much extra effort for General Mills to push out an extra box of Lucky Charms. But that's not true with repossessions.  Two at a time is actually MORE than twice as hard. We often have to check an address a bazillion time before we spot the car there. Should we send two trucks around each run? And what happens if we just take ONE? The other car enters the witness protection program. So doing a multi-car deal is more like planning a strategic strike on an Al-Qaeda compound than a stroll down the aisles of Publix. 


In case your keeping score, the right answer to each of the above would be "no". We're trying to keep ourselves out of the hospital, out of jail, and out of bankruptcy.